Back Like Jordan, Wearing the 4-5

I felt like I deserved a break following the NCAA Tournament string on regular updates, so...I took one. However, I have learned many things since April 7th. Let's make a list:

I've learned that there are few feelings as a sports fan like representing your school or team following a championship. There are many a proud alumus of the University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill, but even moreso when proud of the University of National Champions. Working and living in Blacksburg, VA means there are few people who agree with my preference of school, as maroon and orange is clearly the chosen institution. I'd say the collective disdain for my UNC paraphernalia has only increased in the last month. And dang do I love it. (*insert shirt poppin' here*)

I learned Firefly + Lemonade = A John Daly (or Arnold Palmer for adults). We know this. However, when short on lemonade, substitute Sierra Mist and dial back the necessary mixer ratio just a bit. Delish.

I learned that if you are a female and you're going to wear sweatpants that say "Paws Off" on the butt, you had better have buns that anyone would want to put their paws on to begin with. It happened at the gym, and I had to bite my lip to keep from laughing.

I learned that there is absolutely no way the NBA will allow the Lakers to lose game 7 against Houston. If they can't get it done themselves, then the officials will provide all the help necessary.

I re-learned how quality Third Eye Blind is. A very simple, pop-rock band of the late nineties, their songs continue to be catchy and melodic. I rarely skip them on the ipod.

On a related note, I learned that any pop track with a drumline beat and a sultry female singer is always a winning situation on the ipod. That means "London Bridge", "Hollaback Girl", and "Love Me or Hate Me". And yes, you just learned that my musical taste can indeed sometimes be questioned, and rightfully so. Most people would classify those as guilty pleasures; the problem is, I don't feel guilty.

I learned that Bill Simmons is finally coming around and has now acquired a multiple-TV setup in his newly constructed Man Cave (he called it an "office". Sports Guy, admit it: it's a Man Cave). Rhino provided us with the multiple-TV opportunity full-time during our sophomore year by sacrificing his desk in our dorm to put another TV on. We upgraded to three off-campus and I went with 3.5 for a few years myself. Glad The Sports Guy has caught up. Simmons' sounds like it is of high-quality. Don't worry, I'm going to upgrade soon too.

I learned that the Stanley Cup Playoffs are freakin' awesome. Not so awesome, apparently, was my comment that Carolina was causing me "caniac arrest". Come on people, I thought it was clever. *crickets*

I learned that bar golf is indeed a fun evening, even if you think you have strep throat (I didn't, but daggum did I feel like crap).

I learned that I really, really don't care about horse racing. And here's why: I don't bet, so I have no horse to root for. And to me, with no rooting interest, most sports are not worth my watching. Andre Aggasi retires, I don't have a rooting interest in tennis...I don't watch tennis. I couldn't name ten boxers currently fighting, have no favorites...I don't watch boxing. There is never a reason for me to pull for one horse over another, unless there is one vying for the Triple Crown, so I have no rooting interest. I think that is why I love all college sports so much. In most cases, Carolina has a team worth rooting for, so I naturally have a "dog in the fight" per say. Maybe I've learned that I need to start betting on horse racing so I can get into it. Someone call me when Roy Williams or Tyler Hansbrough buys a thoroughbred.

I've learned that I am indifferent towards the Boston Celtics. A New England area fan I am not, clearly. However, the Red Sox are the only team in the area I really find myself rooting against for no reason. The Celtics just don't really tick me off, nor do they inspire me. This is somewhat odd, considering most elite teams are bound to spark an interest one way or the other in me. But, the C's just don't do it. I pulled for Chicago against them, mainly because I plan on driving the Derrick Rose bandwagon sometime soon, but I could care less otherwise.

On the other hand, I learned that I am on the Denver Nuggets bandwagon. I like Chauncey Billups, I've always liked Carmelo (and taken crap for it), and have defended Kenyon Martin countless times (and taken TONS of crap for it). Give me an aggressive, thuggish, aggravating team with a good on-court leader (Billups) over a pretty, flopping, bitchy-yet-talented team (ahem, the Lakers) any day.

I learned that Derek Lowe is still a really good pitcher. If only the Braves had anybody who could hit for power in a slow-pitch softball league, much less MLB.

I learned that if you eat hard-boiled eggs one night and fart in the shower the next day, the shower will quickly be filled with the smell of eggs. I would like to learn why this does not happen with all other foods. Wouldn't it be nice to fart the smell of chocolate chip cookies or vanilla ice cream? But no, just eggs. Why God, why?

Finally, I learned that there are few things I despise more than public displays of affection at the gym. A guy and girl put on quite the PDA fest last week and I nearly barfed my lunch up. To make matters worse, they stole a bench I was using, and proceeded to stay on it and play kissy face for ten minutes. Grrr.

There is a lot coming up here on The Blue Team. Hopefully the Canes will continue to be a topic for about another month, plus we've got the LeBron Invitational Tournament to finish up. The NBA Draft will, as usual, be of interest, especially with four Tar Heels and a Hokie among the potential draftees. Also, this Tuesday will commence the debut of what I hope will be a regular theme for this forum, one that elicits reader interaction and debate. Finally, there is a once-in-a-lifetime occurrence coming up on June 2nd, almost like a comet or something. Try not to pee yourselves in breathless anticipation.

Thank you, thank you, thank you, you're far too kind...