So I'm driving around this past Wednesday morning in Salem, VA, a small town just off the interstate here in the New River Valley. I was not in a hurry, but did not really have time to backtrack a bit and make the customary stop at Bojangles (which btw, the Bojangles at Exit 137 off I-81 in Salem is one of the three best I've ever been to, no question) for a cajun filet biscuit combo. I was quite hungry, but had resigned myself to by-passing the McDonald's, Hardee's, and other horrendous fast food establishments, instead electing to pray my stomach did not growl too loud in my next meeting. Then, it happened.
I pulled up to a stoplight on Melrose Ave and saw a sign in the distance. "That can't be what it looks like, they don't have those here," I thought to myself (ok fine, I said it aloud in the car). The light turned green and I accelerated, cutting over to the left-hand lane just in case...drove a bit faster...and let out a yelp. That familiar green logo and the big "K K" jumped out to me. A Krispy Kreme? In Salem, VA? "Dear Lord, please don't let it be closed," I prayed. Not only was it indeed open, but there were people sitting inside eating doughnuts. No drive-thru, just an old, down-home doughnut shop with senior citizens and hillbillies hanging out. I parked quickly and opened my wallet to find only $1. Rummaging through the change in my car, I found enough to grant me two delicious premiums and one hot glazed ooey-gooey, sinful delight of dough.
Of course, as I went inside, the regulars all looked at me with bewilderment. It's probably not every day that a 26 year-old dude comes in their spot with a dress shirt and tie on, much less with as much confidence and purpose as I had. My mission: one glazed, one chocolate iced, & one raspberry-filled. $3.05 later, mission accomplished.
I returned to my car, dug up a bottle of water, and proceeded to sit in 21 degrees fahrenheit of Heaven. First, the hot glazed doughnut. Then, the chocolate. And finally, the raspberry. 750 of the most tasty calories known to man were digested in about four minutes, thirty-two seconds. And then, off to my meeting. A detour much needed, money well spent, and a mission accomplished. And that, oh Blue Teamers of the world, is why Harold & Kumar missed it. They should not have wasted their time at White Castle, oh no. Instead, they should have been chugging along down south to find the greatest delicacy of all-time: Hot-n-Now.
I pulled up to a stoplight on Melrose Ave and saw a sign in the distance. "That can't be what it looks like, they don't have those here," I thought to myself (ok fine, I said it aloud in the car). The light turned green and I accelerated, cutting over to the left-hand lane just in case...drove a bit faster...and let out a yelp. That familiar green logo and the big "K K" jumped out to me. A Krispy Kreme? In Salem, VA? "Dear Lord, please don't let it be closed," I prayed. Not only was it indeed open, but there were people sitting inside eating doughnuts. No drive-thru, just an old, down-home doughnut shop with senior citizens and hillbillies hanging out. I parked quickly and opened my wallet to find only $1. Rummaging through the change in my car, I found enough to grant me two delicious premiums and one hot glazed ooey-gooey, sinful delight of dough.
Of course, as I went inside, the regulars all looked at me with bewilderment. It's probably not every day that a 26 year-old dude comes in their spot with a dress shirt and tie on, much less with as much confidence and purpose as I had. My mission: one glazed, one chocolate iced, & one raspberry-filled. $3.05 later, mission accomplished.
I returned to my car, dug up a bottle of water, and proceeded to sit in 21 degrees fahrenheit of Heaven. First, the hot glazed doughnut. Then, the chocolate. And finally, the raspberry. 750 of the most tasty calories known to man were digested in about four minutes, thirty-two seconds. And then, off to my meeting. A detour much needed, money well spent, and a mission accomplished. And that, oh Blue Teamers of the world, is why Harold & Kumar missed it. They should not have wasted their time at White Castle, oh no. Instead, they should have been chugging along down south to find the greatest delicacy of all-time: Hot-n-Now.
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