Rays of Light

Halloween is coming up next Friday, October 31st. It is a big deal around Chapel Hill, with somewhere between 65,000-80,000 folks showing up on Franklin St. The over/under for the number of these individuals that are intoxicated is 78,508.5. I never cared about this "holiday" prior to college, and could care less now. But, for four years, it was the third-biggest day of the year, behind Late Night with Roy and the home game versus Dook. I attended all four Halloweens, with varying costume success. My freshman year, I did not dress up (had no idea it was such a big deal), but did witness our exchange student friend Jose dressed up as a chicken and watched my dear friend Tommy walk straight into a door. To quote John Madden, "boom!" Sophomore year, I dressed up as Yoda and took pictures with a ton of people. Apparently Chinese people really, really like Yoda. Junior year I dressed up as Carolina basketball great Kris Lang (pic) and talked like a thug all night...like that was hard for me. Finally, senior year I dressed up as USA gymnast Paul Hamm, complete with name on the back of my shirt. Unfortunately, all night I had people yelling "hey Mia" at me.

I tell you these things because I have figured out my costume for this year if I were to attend Halloween on Franklin St. I would build a wagon around me, buy a spanking new jersey and hat, carry a cowbell, and ask questions like "how many points do you get when they cross home plate again?" and "what's a balk?" and "why don't they have 4-run homers?". That's right, you guessed it. I'm going as a fan on the Tampa Bay Rays' bandwagon!

Many, many moons ago, Tampa Bay was awarded an expansion baseball team, this coming five years after they nearly stole the Giants from San Francisco (after San Fran stole the Giants from NYC some 35 years earlier). They had some fans for a year or two, but a bad team, bad venue, and bad management decisions ran them off. So four the next eight years or so, Tampa largely ignored the Devil Rays. Now, all of a sudden, people are going to Rays games...and cheering. It's almost like the were kidnapped and held hostage for eight years, then turned loose right as the playoffs began. Where have you been folks?

Alright, I'm done. It is very hypocritical of a Charlotte sports fan to be critical of any other city's fanbase, but we have a reason to be. As for the upcoming World Series itself, I have no preference. I appreciate Joe Maddon listening to your's truly and a) matching up his bullpen pitchers lefty/righty; and b) using David Price when the game mattered. I'm not kidding, when Price entered the ballgame, I ceased to be nervous for Tampa at all and felt like the game was over. As long as he controls his emotions and throws strikes (check and check), Price cannot be hit right now. No one has seen him enough to write the book on him and his talent level is too high to be hit without knowing his tendencies. However, I was completely off base prior to the playoffs in picking Chicago to beat this team, largely because I did not think they had enough bats to carry them. Little did I know that Upton, Pena, and Longoria can carry a team, with plenty of support from Crawford, Iwamura, Navarro, and Baldelli. This team is strong from top to bottom. Which is why...

The Rays will win the series in 6. I'd break it all down for you, but why bother when a professional has done just that. The only area I feel Philadelphia is much stronger is the bullpen, but Price changes that for me. I think Maddon can mix and match enough, then rely on the rookie in the key situation (not always the ninth, mind you) to bail them out. The starters for Tampa (except Kazmir matched up against Hamels) are much better than the Phillies' starters and their order is balanced (lefty vs righty) and strong from top to bottom. Thus, I am picking the Rays. In other news...

• Late Night with Roy is Friday night, officially kicking off the basketball season in Chapel Hill. Finally.


• I cannot yet write coherently about last Saturday's loss by the Heels in Charlottesville. I did not go with the expectation of a win, but after 58 minutes of domination, I felt like it was at least a distinct possibility. I thought we had lost in every conceivable manner...then we blew a lead and lost in overtime.


• That being said, Charlottesville is still beautiful. The Grounds are gorgeous year-round, but especially in autumn. It felt kind of odd to hear someone call Carolina fans rednecks, but I guess to the posh attendees of Thomas Jefferson's University, we are. And I did not mind a bit (pre-game).


• Life is a bit off-base right now. How do I know? I've nearly died in the gym three times recently. First, I managed to finish a clean-and-press by pressing the bar right into my jaw; felt like a Mike Tyson uppercut. Second, I flipped a bar after unloading only half of it following a heavy squat; not unusual other than the fact that I'd had more weight on only one side in previous workouts without flipping it. Finally, I almost threw a heavy dumbell over my head while preparing to do flat-bench; I celebrated my final mishap by listening to Savage Garden during my dead-lift.


• Firefly. Which fittingly brings us to today's closing lyric:

"If you don't know, now you know..."

Sorry LL Cool J...that WAS a Comeback

What an unbelievable comeback by Boston tonight. I am not at all a Sox fan. You could go as far as to say that I dislike them. But everyone has to give them credit for their resiliency, not just in this game, but over the last five years or so. A few questions for Joe Maddon (manager of the losing Tampa Bay no-longer-Devil Rays): why did Gross stay in the game in right field when Perez is a much better defensive player (speed, arm, range), why did he not attempt to match up the bullpen pitching a little better (lefty vs lefty, etc), and where in the heck was David Price during all of this (best pitcher in their bullpen, I don't care if he's four years-old)? I guess it was just a matter of time before bullpen issues reared their ugly head for the Rays.

This game reminded me of the scene in Anchorman where Jack Black gets his motorcycle wrecked by Will Farrell's character (apparently this is not on youtube.com due to copyright issues). Boston is Jack Black, Tampa is Will Farrell. Tampa is cruising along in their car, knock over Boston's chopper, and cause a scene. Then, Boston, despite their cuts and bruises, gets up and says, "ok, now this is happenin'" and proceeds to kick Tampa's dog off the bridge.

I think the Rays still win this series, but they had better go ahead and get it done with Shields on the mound in game six. They choked under pressure tonight, so imagine what game seven would look like. The best thing about tonight? It did not involve the Braves choking, or me hurling some inantimate object throw a window...not that it has ever happened before during the MLB Playoffs.

Brandon Tate, you can have my ACL...and MCL

So the best season in Carolina football (recent) history has been derailed by an injury to Brandon Tate, a potential All-American, ACC Offensive Player of the Year, and NFL 1st Rounder. And yes, there is already a facebook group in which students are offering the ligaments of their respective knees to the senior wide receiver. I posed the question at dinner the other night to a respected sports mind: if your favorite team's most important player injured himself (or herself if you like volleyball, softball, or soccer...but not the WNBA) in the midst of a potentially historic season (i.e. a championship is a distinct possibility), would you willingly give a healthy appendage and take on the injury yourself? Let's say you are a New England Patriots fan and the Pats are 13-0 (again). Tom Brady goes down with a torn ACL in his right knee and Matt Cassel is entrusted to lead the team to the Super Bowl. If you could, would you call God up on the Holy Phone and say, "you know Big G, I'm willing to suffer a torn ACL instead of ol' Tom and rehab it, so if you don't mind, just heal him right up and let me go through the pain instead while he leads my Pats to a Super Bowl"? Post your comments and let me know. As for the "respected sports mind" I posed the question to? He's not so respected anymore, because he looked at me like I was absolutely crazy and said "no way". Take that Voice.

Anyway, the Tar Heels still managed to pull off a great win last Saturday against America's Most Hated Team, Notre Dame. As a life-long Golden Domer, it was surreal seeing them in person and not being able to cheer for them (cause you know I was beating my hand on the bleachers at Kenan Stadium, screaming for Hakeeeeeem the Man, and hugging everyone...though not as many as Andrew). Unfortunately, the victory meant...absolutely, positively nothing. Nada. Zilch. Zippidy-Doo-Da. At least in the context of the bowl the Tar Heels will play in this season, the next six games versus conference foes mean far more. It was, much like a bowl game, a glorified exhibition for all intents and purposes. On the flip side, I will argue that it helps recruiting, meant a lot to win on a big stage against a historic program, and was a heckuva lot of fun. But it does not do much for the goal of New Year's in Atlanta, Jacksonville, or Miami.

As for the rest of the week in sports, the Fightin' Phils have made the World Series. I have professed my hatred and disdain for the Phillies many times in recent years. I really just hated Philadelphia sports in general, their fans, their teams, and frankly, the city. Not one of my favorite places on earth. But, after a visit last summer and the best cheesesteak of my life, I began to soften. Then a trip to see the Phillies play helped. And I begrudgingly began to admit that I really liked watching Jimmy Rollins, Chase Utley, Cole Hamels, and my guy, Shane Victorino. But the straw that broke the camel's back was the back-to-back championships of the Hokie Diamond Thugs, anchored by many of these players. You bring me fantasy championships and I'll cheer for you to get one in real life (as long as the Braves are not involved). Thus, I have been quietly rooting for the Phils. Not out-loud, cheer and pump your fist, but quiet, "ok, I kinda want this team to win".

On the other side of the MLB Playoffs, I am sitting and watching the Rays take batting practice against Boston pitching. I think I am finally buying into the theory that once Tampa Bay dropped the "Devil" from their nickname, God would allow them great success. I admit that I keep hoping to see Tony Parker sitting in the stands pulling for his wife as she plays third base for the Rays. What? Oh, that's Evan Longoria, not Eva? Daggum.

Some quick hitters to wrap things up:

• We are heading for another year of controversy with the BCS. It is a shame that the NCAA knows that a) it needs a playoff; and b) officiating is at an all-time worst, but does nothing about either. It's like they say "it's college football, we're still going to make a crapload of money because people love it too much to not attend and watch, so screw it, no changes are going to be made, even though it would help the quality and legitimacy of the game".
• On my way out of town to Chapel Hill this weekend, I realized I had forgotten my Rainbow sandals. Naturally, I turned around and sacrificed fifteen extra minutes to run home and get them. I have officially joined Darth Vader, Coach K, and the Devil himself on the Dark Side of the Force. Sigh.
• The NBA season starts soon, and I cannot wait. I am the lone individual in Blacksburg, VA who feels this way. I guarantee it.
• Check out Consequence. I like his sound.
• There is definitely a "no Derricks with a mustache" clause in the fine-print of Lil' Kylie's phone plan.
• I missed last night's final debate, so I have to catch up on it one day soon. But, as I mentioned to a few folks earlier this week, the fact that there is even a chance that North Carolina will vote Democrat shows me that this election is pretty much a done deal. There are still a lot of people in my home state who do not want to see a black man/woman in office at any level, much less as the President of our nation. But, enough people are apparently convinced that Obama fo yo Mamma is the best candidate and getting over any secondary factors.
• For so many people, especially young ones, to hate Notre Dame so much, why does nearly every student section in America celebrate touchdowns by hoisting so drunk frat guy named Wade or some cute, drunk chic with a skirt on in the air and tossing them up and down until they have equaled the number of points the home team has scored? Notre Dame has been doing this for years folks. In the case of the drunk girl, I understand it is normally so a bunch of pervs can look up her skirt and holler "pink" or "yellow" to their friends...but tossing a dude named Wade in the air seems stupid to me.
• Tommy Bowden was fired this week by Clemson. I worked briefly with Coach Bowden during my short stint in Clemson and I must say he is an extremely nice guy. Goes to church, does not drink, and works hard. I do not think Clemson really handled things well with him, but I was not surprised to see that he stepped down before things got uglier. He is too good of a coach to not get another job, assuming he wants one. As for Clemson, I predict a couple of attempts at a high-profile name coach before settling for Bobby Johnson or Lane Kiffin. Skip Holtz might be the guy they really need. Either way, the job/program is just not what many people think it is/should be. Clemson won a national title in 1981 and ever since, its fans have been clammoring for another. It was a fluke. Yes, I said it. Fluke. F-L-U-K-E. They have not won an ACC title since 1991, have won only three bowl games since 1993, has served 3 NCAA probationary periods, and has a fight song with no lyrics. Clemson must deal with SEC teams, ACC teams, and others in the recruiting circles. And, it's hotter than hell in Clemson, South Carolina. Seriously. Like the seventh circle of Hades. Head football coach at Clemson is a very good, but not great job, much like the program is a very good, but not great program.

I finally finished watching the VH1 100 Greatest Songs of Hip-Hop today at lunch. A breakdown is sure to come at some point. I know you can't wait.

Check the rhyme ya'll...

Because I Don't Want to Talk About the Economy Anymore

A lot of professional sports writers (i.e. not me) have creative names for columns in which they share their thoughts in a fairly randomized order. Me? I write two lines of introduction, then tell you I'm going to insert bullet points and write about how ever many sports and non-sports items I can think of in thirty minutes or less. And away we go...

• I purposely did not write a follow-up after Virginia Tech's victory at North Carolina a few weeks back for a number of reasons: 1) I am clearly in an awkward situation given my life-long loyalty to Carolina and current employment at VT. 2) The loss hurt really bad as football losses go, so forcing myself to rehash a choke job by the Heels was not high on the priority list. 3) Given the fact that I made it 1/4 of the way into Lee Pace's "Extra Points" column on TarHeelBlue.com following the game and nearly teared up reading how much the loss hurt Mark Paschal, I thought it was a bit trite to discuss how much the loss hurt for Carolina fans. Because as much as you think it hurts you, multiply by 311 and you get the pain the players and coaches feel.
• However, the win at Miami this past weekend was pretty much the polar opposite. A gleeful, surprising, "I just found $100 in my pants pocket" kind of win. Reading this week about Cam Sexton's plight the past two seasons has done two things: 1) make me really like and respect the guy; and 2) make me feel really bad for passing him off as a failure. I sure hope he keeps it up, for the team's sake, and his as a person.
• The coolest part about Cam Sexton is his perspective. I'm not saying he has it all together as a 22 year-old college student, but his faith does seem to play a big part of things for him. His rather subdued reactions following the two TD passes and quick references to being "blessed" are signs of maturity as a man, in my opinion.
• Last Carolina football thought - I left the VT game really down. But, on my loooooong drive back to Blacksburg, it occurred to me that even without TJ Yates, I thought this was an 8 win football team. And I still believe that. The Heels are actually pretty decent. Not great, but solid. Thanks Butch. Now go beat UCONN.
• The MLB Playoffs have started. The picks, as emailed to a buddy this afternoon: Phillies in 4, Dodgers in 5, Angels in 4, White Sox in 4; Dodgers in 6, Angels in 6; Angels in 6.
• I'm very tempted to pick the White Sox to go further, but I'm resisting. John Danks is my newest MLB pitching ManCrush.
• However, I have one HUGE problem with the MLB Playoffs: TBS. I think Ernie Johnson, for my money the best studio host in sports, sits in the studio with Cal Ripken Jr and Dennis Eckersley and thinks to himself, "I'm getting paid how much for this again?" Ripken is not great, but Eck...oh man, Eck. You had a heckuva pitching career sir. Hall of Famer, no doubt. Your broadcasting career? Awesomeness...in bizarro world. Please just find one camera and look at it when you're talking, cause the "deer in the headlights, look from camera to camera and hope you find the right one at some point" thing is not working. Plus, the games themselves are frequently covered by guys we have not heard do baseball all year. I love John Smoltz and Dick Stockton, but they are not the baseball voices of this generation. Not only does it wig me out during live games, but makes the sound bytes that go down in history lacking in goosebumps. I think I ranted about this at some point last year following the Rockies/Diamondbacks playoff game, but it is still bothering me.
• In other news, the Braves' season has mercifully come to an end. Thank you Jesus.
• Speaking of deer in headlights, there are a number of deer who live around my new hood on the north side of Blacksburg. In fact, one of them almost got a Toyota 4-Runner tattoo the other night. Sweet dinner that would have been on the new grill.
• This past weekend, I had the chance to fly out to the VT vs Nebraska football game with our team. Great experience, topped off by the Nebraska fans. They actually thanked us for coming. And that was after the Hokies beat them. Classy, polite, and football smart.
• Nebraska is flat and has A LOT of corn.
• SportsCenter just told me that the Detroit Shock and San Antonio Silver Stars are playing in the WNBA Finals. Not only did I not know this prior to a minute ago, but I had no idea that San Antonio had a WNBA team, much less the nickname of said team. Somebody call me when Jessica Alba decides to play.
• Congrats to the Hokie Diamond Thugs for going back-to-back.
• I was glued to the Redskins vs Cowboys game on Sunday afternoon, though slightly delirious after arriving back home at 4:30am Sunday morning from our trip. A terrific gameplan well-executed by my Dad's old favorite team, the 'Skins. On the other hand, TO is whining this week. Not to give him too much credit, because I do not at all think he is intentionally doing this, but...his antics are putting the spotlight squarely on him and not on the other flaws in Dallas' squad. Not much has been said about their inability to stop Santana Moss (over the last three years), lack of pressure on Jason Campbell, or failure to close out an opponent, which is a good thing for the team as it allows adjustments to be made out of the spotlight.
• I'm enjoying watching the Buffalo Bills succeed this year. Many moons ago, as a young and impressionable lad, I took a liking to the Bills. The following season, the Bills made their first Super Bowl and my fanmanship commenced in full force. Four Super Bowl losses later, it was still strong. Of course, once the Panthers came into the league, they became my team and the Bills had to take a backseat eventually. But, they still hold a fond place in my sports heart. Let's Go Buff-a-lo.
• Shhhh, it's getting kind of close to basketball season. But keep it on the DL, I don't want people getting all worked up yet.
• I have decided that Tootsie Rolls and sushi are my two favorite foods right now not named peanuts. I think I started eating Tootsie Rolls when I was about 3 years old in the backyard. Oh, what? That wasn't a Tootsie Roll? Maybe that explains why Brilla got so mad at me. Anyway, sushi started in college, but did not set in full-force until a few months ago. Now it's a once-a-week thing. And it's good for you. Unbelievable. And we've reached the breaking point on blog topics, so...
• Alright folks, enjoy post-season baseball, a good weekend of college football, and the 100 Greatest Hip-Hop songs of all-time countdown on VH1. We'll analyze that list at some point soon I'm sure. For now, in honor of number one, lemme hear ya say...

Fight the Power

Turkeys vs Rams

Without a doubt, this weekend's North Carolina vs Virginia Tech football game is high on the priority list for discussion. And we'll get to that. But first, your national news spin, courtesy of The Blue Team.

This commercial is no longer as funny to me.

Ok, and with that, we leave the financial crisis analysis to the people who actually know what they're talking about. Back to sports.

As a Carolina grad and Virginia Tech athletics employee of sorts, this Saturday's football game ranks high on the interest scale. Quick thoughts:

• Virginia Tech has the advantage of experience in games like this. The Hokies are great at going on the road and pulling the rug out from under an opponent. Over-hyped home teams and fans are a tasty treat to the Hokies. In my two previous years here, VT is 7-1 on the road in the league, including defeats at Wake Forest (prime-time ESPN2 game in 2006), at Clemson (ditto last year), and at UVA (last year for the ACC Coastal Division title). Though this year's squad is young, Tech has a culture about it that embraces a road game challenge. The last time Carolina played a home football game with legitimate hype on behalf of both teams (i.e. Carolina was not a huge underdog and pulled off an upset) was November 8, 1998 vs #2 FSU (I'm not counting the VT game in 2004 because the Heels were still a significant underdog in that contest).
• On the flip side, I think the Tar Heels have more margin for error. VT does not move the ball consistently and is still adjusting to having Tyrod Taylor in the backfield. There will be a number of new wrinkles this weekend I'm sure, but the Hokies do not have the ability to put a ton of points on the board with methodical, 80-yard touchdown drives. Carolina will have the home crowd amped up, and always has the ability to strike quickly via punt return, long pass, or Brandon Tate levitating.
• Turnovers will, as in every ball game, be vital in this contest. I'll go ahead and say the team with fewest turnovers wins the game, period. However, I have the feeling that this game will end up being a bit one-sided. Somebody will crack under pressure, cough the ball up, set up short field for the opposition, and give up easy points. Given the over-hyped home team, that might not bode well for Carolina.
• Special teams will also be a factor, as always when playing Virginia Tech. Macho Harris and Brandon Tate are two of the best return specialists in the nation and both teams have shown a penchant for blocking kicks this year (something Carolina has not done in ten years).
• Summary: Hokies win if they do not turn the ball over, control the clock with their ground game, keep Tyrod Taylor healthy and on the field, and get a defensive/special teams score. Heels win if they do not turn the ball over, contain Taylor and Evans running the football, use the running game to effectively set up the play-action pass, and feed off a sellout crowd in a positive manner.

Personally, I'll be wearing white. Totally neutral. But if you really want to know my allegiance, ask me to moon you.

Final Score: 26-13.

It's Gotta Be the Pants

So I just moved to a new residence across town here in quaint Blacksburg, VA. I met my neighbors the other night briefly, all young folks and very nice at that. There are not too many unfriendly people around our little college town anyway. I briefly wondered to myself after meeting them what they thought of me. Polite, sarcastic, educated...but not insane. However, after three hours of me whoopin' and hollerin' last night, I feel their opinions might have moved toward insanity. You see, I had very little feel for what to expect during the North Carolina football game at Rutgers Thursday evening. Will they be competitive? Can we stop the run? Can we run? Is Brandon Tate human? But beyond my wildest dreams, we got 44-12 and this. Don't you know his mama is so proud.

At one point last night, as Bruce Carter was at about the fifteen yard-line on his way into the endzone off a third quarter interception, I went over the back of the sofa, spun around, yelped some more, and chest-bumped a column in my living room. Then, crouched on my knees and said aloud, "what team am I watching? Who IS this?" You see, we fans of the Tar Heels do not know this feeling very well. Sure, we have had some big wins in the last few years, against much better teams than Rutgers. But at no point have the Heels dominated a quality opponent in that fashion since my freshman year, 2001, at home against Florida State (41-9, rushed the field, hung from the goal posts, etc).

Now I personally have no idea how good this team really is; no one does frankly. And it worries me that this victory excited me that much last night, because I tend to not get excited about too many victories that do not end with a banner of some sort being hung from the rafters in Dean's little building. If I'm excited, where does that leave most of our fanbase?

All that being said, it was a great performance by a good football team...and a bad performance from a pretty bad football team. Rutgers looked awful. Fans filing out with 6:51 to play in the 3rd quarter. Heck, I made phone calls to friends and family during the second half, I never do that for fear of losing focus.

This morning, my phone rang at 9:01 am. SturgeMuffin had a request: tell me what was wrong last night. I saw all of these good things happen and got real darn excited, but I know we had to be bad in some areas. So tell me what they are. Glad you asked buddy. Paging Debbie Downer:

1. Pass rush. The front four did not succeed in pressuring the quarterback without the aid of a blitz. Playing in a fairly soft defense anyway, the back seven are just supposed to sit back in space and hit people. This can be exploited by wideouts sitting down in the zone (as Jesse Palmer and Craig James pointed out). However, if this supposedly talented defensive line can generate some pressure, the Heels will not have to rely on a skiddish quarterback throwing crushing INTs all the time to end drives. One sack is not going to cut it.

2. Total defense. Rutgers outgained the Heels. Not as concerned with this stat, as the defense is indeed designed to bend, but not break. However, it might lead to pointing out more about the offense's ability to sustain drives. Which brings us to...

3. Sustaining offense. Carolina is very good with the Big Play. Long passes, punt returns, etc. But a methodical, 11-play, 6:52 drive will be needed at some point to run some clock and put some points on the board. Too many times, especially early in the game, a bad play on first down led to second and long situations. Before you knew it, three-and-out and a punt followed. Keeing a defense fresh and milking the clock are important traits to a winning football team.

I realize I'm nitpicking a bit here, but it is important to remember that this was game numero dos on the season. Other teams will see this game on film (if they were not already watching last night) and break down the weaknesses of the Tar Heel attack. No one will take UNC lightly, instead looking to pound a good football team. Next week's game with Virginia Tech looms large in the Coastal Division race, but also in establishing a culture within the ACC that says Carolina is a team to be reckoned with. Beating up on a below-average Big East team and defeating the league's recent resident Big Dog (I would know first-hand) are far different. In a lot of ways, Virginia Tech is what Carolina is trying to become: consistent, team-oriented, a winning culture. But, we'll see how that unfolds in ten days. For now, enjoy a nice win on a national stage and keep those expectations tempered. It's still a young football team with a lot of growing to do in order to consistently play at a high level.

With that being said, Brandon Tate for Heisman.

NFL Stands for "Not For Long"

The above quote was famously made by then Atlanta Falcons head coach Jerry Glanville to an official after what he deemed to be a bad call. As in, "sir, this is the NFL, which stands for Not For Long when you make those kind of calls." It might be one of my favorites of all-time related to sports, up there for "we talkin' 'bout practice", "we didn't do diddly-poo", and "playoffs?!". I tell you all of this because I needed a creative title for an NFL Preview blog and that was the first thing that popped into my mind. Besides, I got to watch all of those classics while linking to them. With that being said, here is a list of some number of NFL thoughts, predictions, and ramblings. I'll decide how long the list is when I finish numbering it.

1. No one will go undefeated this season. I mentioned it following the Super Bowl, but as time has progressed, my disappointment in New England has grown. I am a fan only of the Independence High School Patriots, not the New Englanders. I do prefer them in general over the New York Giants, but would never lose sleep over them losing the the G-Men under normal circumstances. But I decided the other day that New England's Super Bowl XVIXXIVI loss is the most disappointed I have been in regards to the outcome of a game between two teams I do not have major rooting interest in. As in, I would not normally care that much who won, might have a slight preference at most. But to see NFL history of that magnitude pass us by is just really disappointing to me.

2. No one will go 0-fer either. Don't forget, through week 12 last season, the Fightin' Fish of Miami had not won a football game. Leave it to Baltimore to fix that for us. I don't think any team is quite that bad this year, but 2-14 is not out of the realm of possibility (Kansas City, I'm looking at you).

3. Chad "Ocho Cinco" might be the biggest idiot in sports history. He is a PR machine, but what do people really think about him? At least he has not gotten arrested or contributed to any major scandels thus far, which is saying something considering his surroundings in Cincinnati. Marvin Lewis should just get himself fired. You know, streak on the field during a game or something so that Cincinnati can talk about how "embarrassed" they are by his actions and are "forced to make a change". Do something memorable Marvin and then run after they release you from the hell that is that organization.

4. Did I just ask to see Marvin Lewis' junk on national TV? Oops. Wear a thong Marv, thanks.

5. The Colts are going to actually have to play an entire season. For the first time since 2000 or so, Indy will not have clenched their division or a playoff berth in November and will not be resting starters the last 3 games. Between Manning and Jeff Saturday (Tar Heel) dealing with injuries, plus a tough division, the Young Horses will have to fight for a post-season berth.

6. "Colts" has to be one of the wimpiest nicknames in professional sports. Check out the definition of colt. Would you want to be known as one of those? A compliment to a man is being referred to as a "stallion", not a "young, inexperienced person".

7. I like the 49ers this season. Last year, they were the trendy playoff team. This year, everyone assumes they are going to suck. Their defense is solid, Frank Gore is pretty good, and Mike Nolan needs a good season as coach. The problems are being in the first year of a Mike Martz offense (complicated), having below-average wide receivers, and DeShaun Foster is their backup running back. DeShaun is a great name. His game, not so much.

8. As much as I like the name "Lil' Kyle" for my son, I could be convinced of "DeKyle" as well. Make me a good argument on that one, I'll hear you out.

9. Dallas is either going to be really, really good or implode. I vote for the former.

10. Whale's Vagina is going to sleepwalk through another season and still be 12-4 or so. San Diego has enough talent to do that. The bigger issue is that I just wasted 20 minutes watching Anchorman clips on YouTube as a result of that joke.

11. And now, so did you. What a classic.

12. Living in Blacksburg, with a ton of Northern Virginia (Nova) transplants, there is a huge Redskins' following. There also used to be a large Atlanta Falcons following as well until DoggyGate. Anywho, I will say that Skins fans are loyal and loud. I will also say that this season, they will be disappointed. 6-10 disappointed.

13. Brett Favre has slight indigestion from the chicken burrito he had for dinner last night and ESPN has Wendy Nix on site to report on his condition. Turning it over to Wendi:

"Yes, it appears that Brett Favre did indeed consume a chicken burrito last evening. According to sources close to the situation, he was dining with his wife, Deanna, and actually ate the entire burrito in five minutes, twenty-seven seconds. It appeared to have been topped with sour cream, but no cheese since he no longer lives in Wisconsin and has to eat cheese on everything. Following the burrito, approximately forty-two minutes later, Favre was seen clutching his upper stomach and burping slightly. Thankfully, a couple of TUMS alleviated the pressure and Favre was able to sleep well throughout the night. ESPN will have a Town Meeting, an E:60 story, two SportsCenter features, a six-pack of questions, and Lou Holtz "Dr. Lou" segment, and of course its own Bottom-Line caption to update fans on the situation. Pedro Gomez will also shadow him moving forward, and Chris Berman will be by to blow Brett...I mean, lend his support. Now, back to the studio."

14. I am hopeful for the Panthers this year, but a number of things have to fall right: better secondary play and pressure on the quarterback leading to an increase in opposing teams' turnovers, Jake Delhomme's arm not falling off, and using the 2-RB system correctly. Williams and Stewart seem to be the kind of guys that are looking to make an impact in any way possible and do not care about the spotlight right now. A two-headed rush monster is just what this team needs. I can really see 10-6. But...

15. My theory is that each season, 75% of NFL teams have the ability to finish 10-6 or 6-10. Not somewhere in between, but those exact records. For example, I can talk myself into a 6-10 Carolina Panthers season just as easily as 10-6. This is also a league where every team has hopes of the playoffs each year (again excluding a handful - KC, Miami, Atlanta, and probably Baltimore), which is why the NFL is the most popular in pro sports: every fan feels like this could be their team's year.

16. AFC Playoff teams - New England, Pittsburgh, San Diego, Jacksonville, Indy, Tennessee (same 6 as last year which means it won't happen; don't believe in Cleveland; Houston, the Jets, and Buffalo are all 8-8 or 9-7 though)

17. NFC Playoff teams - Dallas, Green Bay, New Orleans, San Francisco, Carolina, Philadelphia (no Giants which was tough; Seattle finally misses; and not buying the Minnesota hype).

18. I talk myself into: Carolina is 10-6 and Jon Beason becomes a household name.

19. I will win at least one fantasy football league this year. I am in three, just like last season. Last year, I finished 2nd in two leagues and dead-freakin-last in a co-ed league that I co-founded and commish. How embarrassing is it to lose to your girlfriend, two female cousins, a school teacher, and a pharma-to-be who paid no attention all season? Pretty bad. But, shout out to cousin Car battling through freshman year of college, cousin Whitney battling through senior year of college, and cousin Lindsey for getting knocked up (by her husband, cousin-in-law Jason) and being preggers with "niece" numero uno. Quasi-Uncle Kyle is stoked. Anyway, the Hokie Thugs are determined to bring home a victory in one of these leagues in 2008.

20. Also, a shout out to Miss Angela - keep fighting, you are always in my prayers.

21. The Tar Heels were awful against McNeese State, but you knew that already. Maybe the team will use the extra rest this weekend to improve the run game and pass rush (fat chance on the second one) and the parachuters can practice landing at the correct stadium. My advice: remember that Kenan Stadium is the one with people actually in it to watch the game.

22. The Hokies hope to get well against the Purple Paladins of Furman this weekend. I had a friend in high school who wore a Furman University hat all the time because it said "FU" on it. Rutledge, if you're reading this crap for some awful reason, congrats on your recent tying of the knot. The Hokies, meanwhile, are switching back to using Tyrod Taylor at quarterback in some capacity, which has been the talk of Blacksburg this week. I did overhear a conversation this week about how it was stupid to waste Taylor's redshirt because "our season is already F-ed up anyway". Glad to know that a close loss in your first game to a good non-conference foe on a neutral field ruins the season. Moron.

23. It's time. All my rowdy friends are coming over tonight: Super Bowl XLIII Pittsburgh 31 Dallas 17.

I Swore I Wouldn't Do It...

Get into the Olympics that is. I try not to get too wrapped up in the Games. And yet, here I am at midnight jacked up. Why? Because there's nothing more fun than yelling expletives at the French.

Alain Bernard and his fru-fru boys can stick it. That's what your nation gets for trying to fail me in French class all those years. But I placed out for college and we got a gold medal. So there.

Breaking News...

Major breaking news on ESPN today: Brett Favre took a dump.

Two Words for you Satan: Suck It

Josh Hamilton's story has been told many times over within the circles of Major League Baseball. A native North Carolinian, he was the #1 pick of the 1999 draft by the Tampa Bay Devil Rays, fell into major drug and alcohol addiction, and was out of baseball for three seasons. He made it back last season with the Cincinnati Reds, had a good year, and was traded to Texas in the off-season. He is now an All-Star and bashed 28 home runs in the first round of the Home Run Derby tonight.

But this is not about baseball or his incredible accomplishments on the diamond. This is about Jesus Christ. Hamilton is outspoken about his belief in God and how he has been carried up from the depths of despair a few years ago. While being interviewed following the derby tonight, he said something to the effect of "I just want to thank my Lord and Savior Jesus Christ and glorify and honor Him in everything I do." Of course he talks about baseball and his talent when asked, but the conversation always goes back to Jesus. In the ESPN article I linked above, Hamilton mentions feeling "almost guilty" about his life now. But I think he is just that humbled by God's plan to use him for such a bigger purpose. His life is a very real example of God's forgiveness, of His purpose, and His power over all things, Satan and addiction included. Sure, Hamilton is a great role model as a player; heck, he's an All-Star in this life. But the reality is that he lets his light shine for Jesus, and that matters in eternity.

I sincerely hope and pray that the Hamilton story continues to get better. I'm not sure how that's entirely possible, but I'm sure God can come up with something. I am a huge fan of his (how can you not be) and watched the Home Run Derby hoping to see him succeed on the big stage. It was a magical night, one that led Peter Gammons to say, "it's a bad night to be an atheist." Of course I am much less witty and eloquent than my fellow Tar Heel, so after 28 home runs, all I could do was wipe my misty eyes and click "Add to My Cart" for a new Josh Hamilton jersy. It's stories like this that show you how much bigger than us God is. There is no hope for addiction and pain, sin and the Devil in the battle against God. So that's why you, Satan, can suck it.