Baby Addi Got Back

There are not many topics that lead The Blue Team astray from the basic topics of this blog: sports, music, pop culture, and the occasional politics. But today? Babies. Because sometimes God does something so insanely magnificant that it just has to be shared.

My cousin Lindsey and her husband Jason had a baby girl last week. Addison Charlotte High was born on Tuesday, February 17th (Michael Jordan's birthday, which is why I took that date in the baby pool. Somehow my Mom mis-reported my selection and I did not receive credit, but whatever) and weighed in at 7 lbs, 7 ounces. Doctors feared some health issues prior to the birth, but she came into this world just as healthy as she could be. My cousins (Lindsey, Whitney, and Caroline) and I are all very, very close; thus, baby Addi is just about the coolest thing we've ever seen. Plus, she has really energized all of our parents.

I personally have not spent much time around wee little children, so I am very much learning on the fly how to interact. However, I felt it necessary to share this little bit of personal life because I just think it is another example of how amazing God is. I do not really understand where babies come from on the scientific side, but I can assure you this: they come from the heart of God. We all do. We just fall dead to our own sin and fail to remember this fact as we become corrupted by the world. But every so often, we get a sweet and real reminder about who God is when a newborn enters this world.

We've all been praying for Addison for months, but just because it was God's will for her to be healthy do not mean that the prayers cease. On the contrary, our prayers as a family must multiply, for she is now surrounded by sin in this world. Her innocence is no more, so our prayer is for God's continued protection of her soul. I cannot wait until she learns about Christ and asks Him into her heart, for that rebirth will be the most important day of her life. But for now, we just pray for her and love her as much as we can. Don't get me wrong here - she is not my child, so I have no idea the depth of the love Lindsey and Jason have for her right now. But, I think she is so awesome and I'm really excited to see our family grow.

Ok, onto pictures. I'm sure these will make it to facebook at some point (some already have - thanks Whit). Yeah, I'm totally obsessed/stoked/awed.

Her debut shot reminds me of Simba in "The Lion King"

She's an Earnhardt fan I think

First time in a Carolina hat and she loves it

Teaching Addi "Rah-Rah Carolina"...seriously

Addi's first "look"

Are you stinkin' kidding me?

Welcome to the world, Addison Charlotte High. God's love is in the house.

4-0

Thanks in large part to Tywon Lawson's second half and the poise of experince, the Boys in Baby Blue managed to make it four straight victories at Cameron Indoor Stadium with a 101-87 win. There are a few things to take away from this game as it relates to the big picture:

1) Anyone who tries to run with Carolina will eventually get run out (of the gym). There was not a great deal of consternation in my recliner at halftime (which lasted 17 seconds thanks to my DVR) because Duke was more than willing to try and run. Possessions were rushed and shots were flying quickly, and not always from the right player/spot on the court for Coach K's squad. Though Duke played more guys, the Devils seemed to tire out more quickly than Carolina. I don't think that is the only reason for missed jump shots, but it certainly plays a factor.

2) 15 points. That's what is needed from the bench. The total output of Frasor, Drew II, Davis, and Copeland needs to be approximately 15 points, 10 rebounds, 4 assists, a couple blocks (thanks Ed), great defense and minimal turnovers. Wednesday night saw 17 points, 7 rebounds, 3 assists, a block, good defense and 3 turnovers. Very close across the board. Depth is not as important in college basketball except to combat injuries and foul trouble. I hope the Heels are done with injuries, but foul trouble is sure to come at some point. Regardless, the depth that this team does have should be counted on for these types of numbers moving forward. Chalk that up as another reason for victory.

3) Carolina = W when Ty Lawson > Point Guards X, Y, Z. Prior to the UVA game in Charlottesville, coming off two straight league losses, a friend in Blacksburg inquired about the struggles of "my boys". I told him that Carolina will go as far as Ty Lawson takes us. When asked about the game prior to Wednesday night, I said "I feel like we go as far as Ty Lawson carries us". In the two losses thus far, Lawson was badly outplayed by Rice and Teague. For Carolina to achieve its goal of an NCAA Tournament Championship, Lawson will have to be at his best against the best point guards. Any team without a great point guard really does not stand much of a chance. Which brings me to Duke...

4) Duke cannot win a title with a mediocore point guard. College basketball is dominated by point guard play. They control the tempo, distribute the ball, and run rampant in the lane. Duke has not had a great point guard since Chris Duhon. The team has failed to make the Final Four since 2004, when their point guard was...Chris Duhon. Coincidence? Much is made of the Devils' lack of a great big man, and for good reason. A good center scores you easy buckets in the lane and rebounds the ball, securing important possessions. But a great point guard can dominate a game (see Lawson, Ty) and Duke has not had the luxury of one in five years.

5) The secret is back out I'm afraid. Carolina had sort of sunk under the radar for a while, toiling behind other teams who notched the number one ranking, both nationally and in the league. Now alone at 8-2 on top of the ACC standings, the Heels are back to having a huge bullseye on their backs and plenty of sweet musings in their ears. Dealing with the expectations was tough back in January and it will only get worse as this season rolls on. Even though fans have been encouraged to Enjoy the Ride, the media will have none of it. I personally have no problem with this team putting it on cruise control at times as long as they understand what it will take to win those last six games. Hopefully they will continue to get better defensively and get their minds right for what is sure to be a pressure-packed final six weeks.

While last night may not go down in Carolina/Duke lore as one of the all-timers, it was certainly a highly-competitive game, well-played, well-coached, and well-officiated. Everyone brought their A-game. For now at least, Carolina's A-game is better than Duke's. We'll see what happens when the rivalry renews on what is sure to be an emotional evening in Chapel Hill on March 7th Until then, I've still got eight classic Carolina/Duke games on my DVR to get me through the days.

Rah Rah Caro-lina-lina...

Carolina > Dook: My Top Ten Games

Happy Beat Dook Week to fellow Tar Heels 'round the world. There is nothing more fun than the two regular season matchups between these two giants of the ACC and college basketball - the hype, the talent, the coaches, the fans, the trash talk, and, of course, the games. Many of you reading this are no doubt alumni of the lighter hue of blue and have lived through this rivalry as a student - count yourself fortunate. See, it is easy to forget that most people's perception of Carolina/Duke is far different than ours. Their perspective is that of an outsider - maybe an ACC fan, maybe not. Maybe they have a preference of one team versus the other, or maybe not. While I do think most fans of college hoops appreciate the rivalry for the players, coaches, and games, I highly doubt they understand the anticipation and hype that surrounds it.

I am a fan of Major League Baseball, specifically the Atlanta Braves. I love the history of the game and the atmosphere of a nerve-wrecking playoff pitcher's duel. But Yanks/Sox? Don't care. Hate them both, always have. I certainly do not understand the preferential coverage the rivalry receives and why I have to watch all 19 regular-season games on television (I actually watch only a few of those games, but they are always televised nationally). While college sports are definitely different from professional sports, I imagine that there are people out there who feel the same about Carolina/Duke that I feel about Yanks/Sox.


Blame ESPN, blame Dickie V and Billy Packer, blame the snotty, obnoxious fans of both schools, blame whoever you want for the overexposure of the rivalry. But, after you're done whining about it, watch the games and appreciate the energy and passion with which they are played. And call me following a classic contest to tell me about the chills you got after it was over.


So in honor of this rivalry, let's get nostalgic and count down The Blue Team's Top 10 Carolina/Duke Games. The criteria are pretty subjective - I have to have a positive memory of the game. This is my blog, I own it like Psycho T owns Paulus, so I chose MY Top 10. The only real criteria was that I made this list from 1990-present. While I vividly recall the intense 1989 ACC Tournament Final, most of our readers will not. And yes, we have all seen the 1984 home game on ESPN Classic (it was on Monday at 1pm, the DVR was set again this year), but we were not cognizant for it (I am, however, certain that I pooped my diaper after Matt Doherty hit the game-tying shot). So, without further adieu, I present to you:


The Blue Team's Top 10 (or so) Carolina/Duke Memories


Close-But-Not-Quite-Top-10 - 1990 Game at Duke (Duke was good, Carolina was not, yet the Heels swept the season series), 1996 game at Carolina (Calabria's shot for a 73-72 win, but neither team made it to the Sweet 16), 2000 game at Carolina (Forte sends it to OT, Heels lose 90-86), 2001 game at Duke (Haywood's free throws secure an 85-83 win), 2004 game at Carolina (Jawad Williams' 3 sends it to OT, McCants' 3 ties it late, but Duhon goes coast-to-coast to break the Tar Heels' hearts), 2007 game at Carolina (Henderson's overhead smash breaks Tyler's nose).


#10: 1991 ACC Tournament Final in Charlotte - #6 Carolina 96 #7 Duke 74. My first of 11 Carolina/Duke games in person ended with seniors King Rice, Pete Chilcutt, and tournament MVP Rick Fox cutting down the nets in Charlotte. This was the first time I got to see nets get cut down in person and I have since been obsessed. Both teams would make it to the Final Four three weeks later, with the Heels being upset by Kansas before Duke pulled off an unbelievable victory over undefeated UNLV, followed by beating KU in the finals for the Devils' first national title.


#9: 1994 game in Chapel Hill - #2 Carolina 89 #1 Duke 78. This game was also on as part of ESPN Classic's countdown this week. 1 vs 2 with a ton of hype in a matchup of the past three NCAA champions and an eye toward gaining the number one seed in the East Region. The talent in this game is off the charts for both sides, but all I can remember is the unbelievable performance by the Duke Team Barber. Seriously, Marty Clark, Cherokee Parks, and Chris Collins all three had ridiculous bowl cuts. Duke eventually lost in the national title game to Arkansas and the Heels...um...yeah...anyways.


#8: 1992 game in Chapel Hill - #9 Carolina 75 #1 Duke 73. The Montross Blood Game. An ugly defensive struggle in which Derrick Phelps hit two free throws for the final margin. As a nine year-old, I was ready to go GI Joe on every Dookie in sight. I was also up well past my bedtime no doubt. Duke avenged this defeat twiceover, including a blowout in the ACC Tournament final before my young eyes and eventually won its second consecutive national title. Man, that team was sick.


#7: 2002 ACC Tournament in Charlotte - #3 Duke 60 Carolina 48. What? A game the Heels lost? You bet. This was the last game of the 8-20 season under Matt Doherty. The Heels had been destroyed five days earlier at Cameron Indoor Stadium by the defending national champs and most expected a similar performance in the tournament quarterfinal. Instead, Coach Doherty used a stall tactic of milking every bit of the shot clock to limit the number of possessions. From the last row of the Charlotte Coliseum, we watched as the Heels hung in it for 36 minutes. An inopportune turnover dashed any hopes of an upset and, mercifully, the nightmare season ended. But, I distinctly remember discussing with the boys that one day soon, we'd be kicking Duke's butt again. It was the low of lows in my four-year college basketball journey.


#6: 2006 game in Durham - #23 Carolina 83 #2 Duke 76. Psycho T dropped 27 on the road and the Baby Heels pulled off a shocker on the Senior Day for JJ Redick and Shelden Williams. The win also spawned this from The Blue Team.

#5 2003 game in Chapel Hill - Carolina 82 #10 Duke 79. Matt Doherty's last regular-season home game turned into his first Battle Royal after a hard foul by Dahntay Jones on Raymond Felton. Coach Doherty and Duke assistant Chris Collins nearly came to blows, leading to Duke scrub Andre Buckner shoving Doherty and a melee. The Heels hit a ton of threes to combat the lack of a big man and Jones' halfcourt heave was a half-second too late. Carolina students rushed the court and I had to hold up a crying roommate. This was the first win over Duke at home for every four-year student in attendance. Shockingly, the seniors did not claim every available ticket for the game, leaving a small number the Monday morning after ticket distribution. Therefore, the suitemates and I camped out in the twenty-something degree night to claim our tickets, and I actually slept on the ticket window counter. We can each proudly say that we did not miss a Carolina/Duke home game in our four years at school thanks to this frozen adventure. We were also each able to bring our fathers to this game, which made the victory 100x more special. There is truly nothing like sitting on the last row of the Dean Dome and watching a victory like that with your Dad and your best friends. Nothing.

#4 1995 game in Durham - #2 North Carolina 102 Duke 100 (2OT). Coach K is missing from the Duke sideline and the Blue Devils had their version of an 8-20 season without him. On the other hand, the Heels featured Rasheed Wallace, Jerry Stackhouse, Jeff McInnis, and 1993 Final Four MOP Donald Williams on a team that would notch a one-seed in the NCAA Tournament and make the Final Four. Naturally, the Heels jumped out to a big lead, lost the lead, and ended up in overtime against a vastly overmatched Duke squad. After Serge Zwicker missed the front end of a one-and-one, Duke's Jeff Capel drove just past halfcourt and launched the most famous shot in this storied rivalry (at least from the Duke perspective - anyone else think 8 points in 17 seconds and Walter Davis' shot make this look average?) and Dickie V absolutely loses his mind. The Heels eventually won in the second overtime thanks to Jeff McInnis' heroics. Of course, this game also featured The Dunk. I mean, seriously. On a related note, enjoy these dunks as well. Thank you David and Danny.

#3 1998 series - Wow. Just a memorable three games by these two squads. First, the Tar Heels won a 1 vs 2 matchup in Chapel Hill 97-73. The hype prior to the game was off the charts, but the contest itself ended up becoming a route late in the second half. Antawn Jamison had 35 & 11 on 14-20 shooting, despite only touching the ball for like 34 seconds total. Duke won the rematch in Durham on the last day of the regular season 77-75 to earn a share of the league title. The Heels missed four free throws late that would have tied the ballgame. On a sidenote, I listened to this game on my Walkman, sharing an earbud with Erich on a camping trip on South Mountain. Somehow we did not get in trouble for disappearing for two hours or bringing an electronic device on the excursion. Finally, the rematch in the ACC Tournament Final in Greensboro the next Sunday was set to decide who would earn the one-seed in the East Region. The Heels prevailed 83-68 behind 27 & 18 from Jamison and a hot shooting performance by senior Shammond Williams, who then led the Tar Heel pep band in the fight song following the game. What made this particular season unique was the fact that the Blue Devils were ranked #1 all three times the two teams played. Duke suffered a shocking loss in Charlotte to Providence the following week and the Heels made the Final Four where they...awww, nevermind. Next game please...

#2 2005 game in Chapel Hill - #2 Carolina 75 #6 Duke 73. The Devils had survived a ridiculously intense defensive struggle in Durham a month earlier, a game that ended after the Heels could not get off a shot to win the game (a meltdown that changed the season - thank you Raymond Felton). A back-and-forth game eventually saw Duke take a 73-64 lead with just over three minutes remaining. Senior Day seemed ruined...until The Comeback (go ahead, I'll give you five minutes to click the link, watch the finish, and dry your eyes). Jawad, Marvin, and Sean all converted buckets to cut the lead to 73-71. Eventually, Raymond Felton hit a free throw and tipped his missed second free throw to Marvin Williams who converted a three-point play to put the Heels ahead 75-73. Subsequent misses by Redick and Daniel Ewing allowed the home team to survive and the senior class of Melvin Scott, Jawad Williams, CJ Hooker, Jackie Manuel, & Charlie Everett to go out on top as ACC Champions (and eventually, National Champions). An emotional victory, complete with tears of joy, lots of man hugs, and, eventually, a dash to Franklin St. How does one possibly top this?

#1 The Next Game. You see, this is what is so great about the Carolina/Duke rivalry. There's always another great game or great moment that is to come. The players change, the coaches (eventually) change, and the results change, but the stakes never do. It's always the biggest game of the regular season and always played with tremendous passion. Carolina is Carolina because of Duke, just as Duke is Duke because of Carolina. The true fans understand this and appreciate the other institution and respect the other team for making them better. What makes Carolina/Duke so much fun is the anticipation of the Next Game because of the unknown - all you know is that it will be as fun and intense as college basketball can be.

Rah Rah Car-o-lina-lina...go to hell Dook.

A Sports Scene Quickie

Let's hammer out three series of thoughts on the world of sports. The topics: Carolina Basketball, ACC Hoops &, the Super Bowl.

1. Carolina Basketball: The Heels came off an exciting but ugly victory vs FSU on Wednesday night to play at rival NC State on Saturday. Each season, I take a look at the schedule and try to identify games that the Heels will struggle with that one might not expect. The FSU/State back-to-back jumped out at me for a couple of reasons. Carolina typically seems to struggle after a break (the Heels had last weekend off) and any time you play a "rival" who gets up to play you more than you get up to play them, there can be problems. Without question, the Florida State game was awful from a Tar Heel perspective, minus the ridiculous conclusion. Somehow, instead of coming out completely flat, the Heels survived a sloppy first seven minutes to dominate the first half and go into halftime with a comfortable lead. But, instead of pulling away, Carolina struggled to be strong with the basketball and had no answer for the screen and roll, allowing the 'Noles to take a three point lead with two minutes remaining. From there, however, the Heels showed what it takes to be a great team - buckle down and find a way to win on a night that you can do nothing right. Missed dunks, terrible team defense, an off-night from your All-American...most teams do not survive such issues. But Carolina got a steal and-one from Danny Green, played unreal defense on consecutive possessions against Toney Douglas and got the ball back with 3.2 incorrect seconds remaining (how in the world did the officials blow this? Should have been 4.3 seconds. I watched it five times on my DVR to make certain on Friday night during my Tar Heel Rewind segment of the week). Ty Lawson's buzzer-beater was superb, as the Seminoles tried really hard not to foul. As a collegue of mine mentioned, "Florida State had this game wrapped up until Leonard (Hamilton) started to coach." Just piss-poor late-game execution by FSU, and a team that knows how to win doing just that. For the record, I watched this game in near-complete silence in my hotel room in Winston-Salem, NC, at an ISP Sales Academy in which nearly everyone else was pulling for Florida State (they are an ISP school, and a great one at that). And I never thought the Heels would lose. I promise. Somehow, I managed to not be kicked out of the hotel after the last shot, as I am pretty sure that everyone watching at the hotel bar still heard me screaming and whopping from the eighth floor of the Marriott.

Saturday, the game at NC State was emotional only twice - pre-game during ceremonies for the late Kay Yow, and at the end of the game as Mike Copeland tried to assault Ben McCauley after first being legally assaulted during a "hard foul". My rule for the Heels is now official: if Ty Lawson is head-and-shoulders above the opposing point guard, Carolina wins. Hands down. When everyone was panicking following the earlier back-to-back losses and fretting about the trip to UVA, I was not worried in the least. The reason? I had just seen UVA in person here in Blacksburg and can tell you that Lawson is much, much better than either of the 'Hoos lead guards. Same goes for today, as Degand and Mays were no match for #5. Of course, it did not help that the NC State bigs played matador style defense, ole-ing nearly every time a Carolina player got near the rim (mostly Hansbrough, but happened to the benefit of others as well).

So where does that leave the Boys in Blue? In a better place than they were three weeks ago, that much is fo' sho. Unfortunately, I do not think the ailments have been magically healed. The issues are consistent: lack of a perimeter defender (Dear Marcus, Get Well Soon. Love, Kyle), the inability (still) to be able to defend the screen and roll for crap, the tendency to get caught up in one-on-one battles instead of working the ball for a good shot, and little bench production whatsoever. I just imagine how much better the team could be having Ginyard at 100% (not including if Zeller were healthy). Three of those four issues would be solved in all likelihood, plus his leadership might help the one-on-one problems. I personally believe he will come back in a couple weeks and try his best to contribute for the late-season, March Madness run. Between really wanting to finish up with his classmates and the desire to win a national title, I predict a return. Unfortunately, if he's not 100%, it just won't matter.

By the way, I think we all entered this season assuming Lawson and Ellington would leave with the seniors. I'm not sure that will happen now. Ty might go anyway, but Ellington might end up having to stay. If both came back and Ginyard had to redshirt, only Green and Hansbrough would be lost from the starting lineup. Therefore, next year's team could potentially start Lawson, Ellington, Ginyard, Davis/John Henson and Thompson, with a bench of Zeller, Travis Wear, David Wear, Davis/Henson, William Graves, Larry Drew II, Leslie McDonald, and Dexter Strickland. You tellin' me that team ain't a Final Four favorite? Wow. I think I just shat myself.


2. ACC Hoops: The big story in the league right now is the top four. Clemson and Wake Forest have clearly separated themselves from the remainder of the league, along with the Dookies and Heels, and are national contenders. Of course, most folks are skeptical of Clemson, and rightfully so. Three consecutive years of hot starts and subpar finishes will do that to you. I do think they are legitimately good this year, and hungry to prove people wrong. I could see another 5-seed for the IPTAY backers. Wake Forest is really, really good. Unfortunately, I think we have seen their flaws the last couple of weeks. There are times the Deacs just do not defend the ball well, they have trouble executing on offense late in games (hint: get Teaguethat ball by letting him run the point and put Ish Smith on the pine), and they have some complete mental breakdowns by key guys (McFarland and Johnson, The Blue Team is looking at you). They might have enough talent to override these issues, but I think the problems will continue to rear an ugly head against some inferior opponents and again in the NCAA Tournament.

In the middle of the league, it seems that four teams are battling for a couple tournament bids: Virginia Tech, Boston College, Florida State, & Miami. They all have ugly losses, but also have some quality wins. Personally, I think a couple teams do just enough to sneak into the NCAA Tournament, but I would not put money on who it will be. By the way, for people who want to argue that the ACC is better than the Big East, I implore you: shut up. The top four ACC teams are Clemson, Duke, North Carolina, and Wake Forest. The Big East top four are probably Pittsburgh, UCONN, Louisville, and Marquette. The next four ACC teams? FSU, Miami, VT, and BC. The Big East? Georgetown, Syracuse, Notre Dame, and WVU. Do you really think VT can play with Georgetown? BC with Syracuse? FSU with any of those four teams? This is where the Big East is unquestionably better. As for the top four teams, we'll decide that in March.

One other quick note - Chas McFarland, the 7-footer for Wake Forest, is quickly earning a reputation in the league for being a complete and total douchebag. He whines, flails, flops, elbows, and bitches his way through every game, drawing the ire of fans and opposing players alike. This is not new - it's been going on for a couple of years now. But now that Wake Forest is actually good, people are taking notice. Chris Chase, a Wake Forest alum over at Player Hater's Ball has pointed this out already, so I'm just echoing the fact: McFarland is due to really hurt his team with his antics before this season is over. If nothing else, he's at least going to really piss people off and be remembered for being a jerkoff instead of a solid player.

3. Super Bowl XLIII: Steelers vs Cardinals. Thus far in the playoffs, my picks are at 7-3 (Colts, Panthers, and Titans were the losses, Scout's Honor). Not a bad year for sure. I have to say, I've picked some Super Bowl underdogs in the past. My backing of the Chargers prior to the beatdown of the century that allowed Steve Young to get the monkey off his back went down in infamy. On the flip side, my belief of the Pats against the Rams (and at the beginning of those playoffs mind you) are that of legend. But this ain't a year for the Dog...

I am going with the Steelers for a few reasons. First, I do not think Arizona can run on the Pittsburgh defense, period. The Cards were at least able to move the pigskin two or three yards in their three previous playoff games, but the Steelers will have none of it. Second, I think Big Ben will be able to hit the deep ball against an Arizona defense that likes to take some chances. Two or three big plays will be enough to give Pittsburgh good field position or to score. Third, Kurt Warner is due to struggle a bit. He's had some complete stink bombs this season to go with his great games, and I think Dick LeBeau can scheme Warner into struggling on Sunday. Last, the Steelers will not panic in this contest. A close game for a half, then Pittsburgh pulling away a little bit, and a key turnover will be enough. Of course, it does not hurt that I picked the Steelers before the season started...

The pick: Pittsburgh 30 Arizona 17

Harold & Kumar Got it Wrong

So I'm driving around this past Wednesday morning in Salem, VA, a small town just off the interstate here in the New River Valley. I was not in a hurry, but did not really have time to backtrack a bit and make the customary stop at Bojangles (which btw, the Bojangles at Exit 137 off I-81 in Salem is one of the three best I've ever been to, no question) for a cajun filet biscuit combo. I was quite hungry, but had resigned myself to by-passing the McDonald's, Hardee's, and other horrendous fast food establishments, instead electing to pray my stomach did not growl too loud in my next meeting. Then, it happened.

I pulled up to a stoplight on Melrose Ave and saw a sign in the distance. "That can't be what it looks like, they don't have those here," I thought to myself (ok fine, I said it aloud in the car). The light turned green and I accelerated, cutting over to the left-hand lane just in case...drove a bit faster...and let out a yelp. That familiar green logo and the big "K K" jumped out to me. A Krispy Kreme? In Salem, VA? "Dear Lord, please don't let it be closed," I prayed. Not only was it indeed open, but there were people sitting inside eating doughnuts. No drive-thru, just an old, down-home doughnut shop with senior citizens and hillbillies hanging out. I parked quickly and opened my wallet to find only $1. Rummaging through the change in my car, I found enough to grant me two delicious premiums and one hot glazed ooey-gooey, sinful delight of dough.

Of course, as I went inside, the regulars all looked at me with bewilderment. It's probably not every day that a 26 year-old dude comes in their spot with a dress shirt and tie on, much less with as much confidence and purpose as I had. My mission: one glazed, one chocolate iced, & one raspberry-filled. $3.05 later, mission accomplished.

I returned to my car, dug up a bottle of water, and proceeded to sit in 21 degrees fahrenheit of Heaven. First, the hot glazed doughnut. Then, the chocolate. And finally, the raspberry. 750 of the most tasty calories known to man were digested in about four minutes, thirty-two seconds. And then, off to my meeting. A detour much needed, money well spent, and a mission accomplished. And that, oh Blue Teamers of the world, is why Harold & Kumar missed it. They should not have wasted their time at White Castle, oh no. Instead, they should have been chugging along down south to find the greatest delicacy of all-time: Hot-n-Now.

They Aren't Who We Thought They Were

Undefeated. The best team in history. Most-talented team in the country. National Title or bust. Each of these phrases had been used to describe the 2008-2009 North Carolina Men's Basketball Team in 2008. Now it's 2009. And the words now include soft, unmotivated, panicked, human. So what gives? How has the best Carolina team ever assembled turned into a rattled, poor-shooting, no-defense, mentally weak squad? And how can this team re-focus and improve moving forward? Finally, can they/will they end up in the position to hoist a big banner and cry while confetti rains down in Detroit at the Final Four?

What's Wrong

1) Defense. It starts here and ends here, both individually and as a team. Lawson has done a poor job of pressuring the ball and staying in front of his man in these two losses to Boston College and Wake Forest. Coach K, for all the hate Carolina fans have for him, is an outstanding basketball coach, especially in the art of pressure on the ball. He demands his point guards pressure their opponent. Subsequently, he demands that the wing players deny their man getting the ball (which in turn adds further pressure on the point guard to make a precise pass). Roy Williams is not much different. His defensive principle implores the 1, 2, and 3 spots to play the passing lanes and take chances to cause turnovers. This has just not happened in the two losses. Why does Coach Williams want to cause turnovers? Because they lead to easy points on the break, duh. And obviously when this team is not getting points on the break, they are resigned to a half-court set. And in the half-court set they...

2) Take Bad Shots. Dear Carolina Guards: I'd like to introduce you to Tyler Hansbrough. He's a big white guy, wears number 50. You can usually find him standing with his back to the basket, arms raised, looking for a post-entry pass. He makes a lot of shots and, when he misses, often tracks down the rebound and scores anyway. He's also become pretty good at driving from the perimeter on a big man and scoring or getting fouled. I would suggest he touches the basketball more often, ok? Thanks. Love, Kyle.

3) Coaching. Roy. Roy, Roy, Roy. How I love thee, but...wow. Let's take the Wake Forest game for a second. (To be fair, Coach Williams could have very well told his players many of the points I am about to bring up. However, it sure was not executed if that was the case). Immediately, in the opening offensive position, I noticed that Wake Forest's big men were hedging on the Carolina screens really hard (also called a "show", it is when the post player steps out in front of the guard trying to dribble around the screen and prevents him from driving or shooting until his teammate can recover to get back in front of the ball). When this happens, it leaves the player setting the screen open to cut to the basket. Often times, a team will combat this by having the screen setter "slip" the screen and cut straight to the hoop without really ever setting a pick (for detail on how to do this perfectly, cue up the DVR and watch what Kansas' bigs did to us in the Final Four last year...if you can stomach watching it that is). Did we do this one time the entire game Sunday night? Nope. At least not successfully. The big was not rolling off the screen and the guard never looked inside for him anyway. Now, I know the pick-and-roll is not a huge part of the offense; however, when it is there for the taking, I'd suggest doing just that. This is just one example of many instance Sunday night that I found myself very frustrated with the strategy from our bench (putting Thompson in with two fouls when they could have gone small with Green at the 4 and watching Deon pick up foul number 3 less than a minute later was another). Overall, I do not think our beloved Heels have played well recently; likewise, I do not think our beloved coach has coached well either.

4) Marcus Ginyard. It seemed to take until now, when the team actually started to struggle and lose games, for people (and by people, I mean the media) to figure out that the Heels really, really, really miss Ginyard. He is the unquestioned leader of the team. He does all of the little things that just are not getting done. He is the only lock-down defender on the team. He is the go-to guy for post-game quotes, thoughts, & analysis. He does not panic and does not let others either. This year, in games that Carolina won, Ramon Harris of Kentucky, Kyle McAlarney of Notre Dame, and Raymar Morgan of Michigan St all had some (or in McAlarney's case, a lot) of success hitting shots. Each of those wing players would likely have been defended by Ginyard at some point, and probably to a much more successful degree from the Tar Heel perspective. Now that the team is losing, the media suddenly has figure out the Boys in Blue miss not only Ginyard's defense, but also all of the other qualities mentioned above. Um, ya think?

How To Fix It

1) I have no idea. They do not pay me to coach.

2) But if they did, I'd start with reaffirming the point of college basketball - having fun. This team does not seem to be doing that right now, as Adam Lucas insinuated in his column on Monday (linked above under "panicked"). The expectations, pressure, and spotlight seem to have gotten to this bunch (again, if Ginyard were involved, I do not see this being as big of an issue). They simply are not having fun and relaxing out there. You can see when they shoot how skittish they are. When Florida's big guns decided to return after winning the title in 2006, they did so because they loved being around each other and having fun together. This team has four guys who were in a similar situation, minus the title to defend, but chose to return. The difference, I acknowledge, is none of them were going in the NBA Draft Lottery. Regardless, the goal was and is to win it and, I hope, to have fun along the way doing it. Right now, they have indeed forgotten to enjoy the ride.

3) Reaffirm the goals of this team: win the ACC Regular Season, win the ACC Tournament, win the National Championship. All of those goals are still quite possible (though two more conference losses will kiss the regular season league title goodbye). Mid-January losses show you what you're good at, what you're not so good at, and what you completely suck at. So get better at them.

4) From an X's and O's perspective, the defense is what absolutely must get better. And it can be good enough, as seen versus Oregon and at Michigan State. We already covered, for the most part, what is wrong defensively. So, fix it. And it starts inside most of the players. As individuals, Lawson has been completely outplayed twice in a week. He needs to take this personally and re-focus himself. He does not get another shot at BC or Wake Forest this season, so learn from it and be ready to dominate the other nine guards he's due to face, on both ends of the court. Ellington must drive more offensively like he did early in the season and at least attempt to play defense. Green has to pull more rebounds. Thompson has to quit playing like a *insert p-word here* (a tentative Thompson ends up in foul trouble by the way). Hansbrough must demand the ball and go all Tim Tebow on them (Interestingly enough, I think the similarities between the two of them are incredible, as also mentioned by an anonymous reader in the "Comments" section last week. Ugly but effective game, loyal to their schools, passing up pro prospects, could get any chick on campus if they were like that...). Ginyard must get healthy. The bench guys must do what they're good at and minimize mistakes otherwise (more minutes for Ed Davis, please). And as a team, they must want it.

5. Somebody has to refuse to lose. Every great college team seems to have this kind of guy. The dude who just wills his team to victory. It's not always the best player, but it usually is the one player the team absolutely would not have won without. Tim Tebow. Mario Chalmers. George Lynch. Raymond Felton. They all had an insatiable appetite for winning a championship and pushed their teammates to the necessary heights to do so. Tyler? Ty? Marcus? I honestly believe that this might be the most important factor for this team's ability to not only rebound from recent adversity, but to improve and eventually secure a national title.

What Lies Ahead

In the short-term, victories. Wins must be ahead in the coming weeks, or this season could blow up really fast. The tougher opponents are at home until the Heels travel to Duke on February 11th. Clemson comes to Chapel Hill (no game at Littlejohn), Miami and Maryland as well (return trips follow the Duke game). Everyone will continue to play with tremendous intensity against this team, as the interlocking NC still doubles as a bull's-eye. Therefore, each game must be approached with increased focus and attentiveness.

In the long-term, practice. This squad must commit to the practice floor and getting better. The communication, the execution, the desire must start in practice and translate to the games.

The outlook has changed only slightly from the beginning of the season. Gone is the superfluous praise that was heaped on this team once upon a time, replaced by the doubt of the "loyal" fans, as well as the media. People have rightfully questioned their toughness, togetherness, and desire. So, put up or shut up. Either this team locks in internally and rallies around one another or things completely fall apart and we're left with the distinct flavor of the 1994 disaster. Other Carolina teams have faced adversity and rallied for great seasons: 1987, 1990, 1997, 2000. But, none have rallied for championship seasons - yet. It can be done. And it won't happen overnight. But, time plus effort times fun might yet still equal a championship.

Every ride is bumpy, so enjoy the sights and sounds along the way and hope for a destination of greatness. Don't even worry, we gonna make it.

Even PETA Would Shoot Those Panthers

An NFL season that heard the Carolina Panthers growl ferociously all year long ended with a hardly a meow Saturday night. Those vicious, punishing, so-talented-it's-sick Arizona Cardinals (sarcasm?) came into Charlotte and intercepted the Panthers on their way to hosting the NFC Championship (get it? Intercepted. See how I did that?). In the most recent entry here on The Blue Team, I mentioned the Cardinals not being a great matchup for the Panthers because of a weakness in the secondary, but thought the Carolina defense would be motivated and the home team would prevail if they took care of the ball and were not overhyped. Instead, all of those contingencies were violated.

The seconday was horrendous, the defensive front produced little pressure, and the linebackers looked typically lost in coverage. More in-depth in my worry was that Arizona would move Fitzgerald around pre-snap (check), try and get him matched up on Richard Marshall (check), and cross him through the middle on our linebackers (and check). Warner had all day to throw the ball, which was a schematic error of collosal proportions. Pressuring a quarterback as prone to sacks, turnovers, and injury as Warner is might be the only way to beat him. I can assure you that letting him sit back and wait for a receiver to come open is not effective. This just goes to show you that the Panthers' coaches do not have a lot of confidence in the secondary in man-to-man coverage, or even just Cover 1. The few blitzes that were run when the game was still in doubt ended up with a toasted DB.

On the other side of the ball, the offense got away very quickly from running the football. Then again, it did not really have the football for much of the second quarter. Jake was just awful. Dreadful. Ghastly. Deplorable. Really all of these things. Delhomme is this type of quarterback: at the end of the year, his numbers look decent. Plus, you cannot measure his intangibles and leadership. Each year, he has 3-4 really good games (270, 2 TDs, clutch throws, etc); each year, he has 2-3 really bad games (170, 3 INTs, missing open guys). In those really good games, he leads the team to victory more often than not; in the really bad ones, he gives you NO CHANCE to win. Saturday night was one of those games that most decent NFL quarterbacks have once a year or so. Unfortunately, it was on the biggest stage thus far. He is known for trying to force the ball into coverage and locking onto a wide receiver (Smith) and he did both all night. Of course, the naysayers and Debbie Downers will spend the entire off-season whining about Delhomme, saying he needs to go. While I'm all for drafting and developing a quality quarterback, I am not for getting rid of Delhomme. Remember last year? David Carr and the white gloves? How bad the team was without its leader at QB? Until there is clearly a better/younger option, then keep Delhomme and learn to hand the ball off 40 times a game.

In closing, this game and season ended in incredibly disappointing fashion. Not to take away from the good things, but the lingering feeling is definitely "what might have been". This is the NFL, not college football, meaning two major differences exist: 1) a real champion is crowned; and 2) winning is the only expectation. And the Panthers did not win. Hopefully next season will begin, and end, with a roar.

NFL Stands for "No Freakin' Logic"

Back in September, I wrote a Nostradamus-esque piece about the upcoming NFL season. 23 (hey, that's Michael Jordan's number!) thoughts/predictions on the season to be, with commentary and analysis. Before we delve into looking at this weekend's playoff slate, let's take a moment to make fun of what I made fun of a few months back:

1) No one will go undefeated. Survey Says: Correct. Tennessee lasted the longest before falling to Brett Favre. Not the Jets. Just Brett Favre.

2) No one will go 0-fer. Survey Says: Incorrect. The Detroit Lions will now live in infamy. A brief aside on this - the Lions will be good in one of the next two season. Whoever survives and sticks around on this Lions team will be incredibly motivated to make people forget this season and it will be the "Story of the Year" whenever this happens. And Calvin Johnson will be the best wideout in the league when he gets a consistent quarterback.

3 & 4) Chad Ocho Cinco is sucko and Marvin Lewis needs to go crazy. Survey Says: Correct and N/A. Lewis was headed for the unemployment line until a late-season winning streak, but never went off. And Chad is MIA following a season of non-productivity.

5) The Colts will have to play out the entire season to make the playoffs. Survey Says: 97% correct. 3-4 record turned into 12-4 following the nine-game win streak. Played full-tilt until the final week.

6) Colts is a wimpy nickname. Survey Says: Duh. Still wimpy. My adorable 3 year-old neighbor, Emma, is not even scared of Colts and she wouldn't trick-or-treat this year.

7) 49ers will be good. Survey Says: Correct. Sort of. I really think they would have won the division if Singletary had been their coach all year. San Fran was the best team in the NFC West, but could not get out of the gate and dug themselves too big of a hole.

8) DeKyle. Survey Says: DeKyle is a great choice for my son's name and you cannot convince me otherwise.

9) Dallas is going to be really good or really implode. Survey Says: Incorrect, because my follow-up sentence was "I vote for the former". But boy did they ever implode. I watched the entire 44-6 loss at Philly with the sound on in order to soak up the moment. Boy do I ever hate Dallas.

10 & 11) San Diego (in German...) will sleepwalk through the year and still be 12-4. Survey Says: 1/2 credit - they did sleepwalk through most of the year, but only ended up 8-8...and in the second round of the playoffs. Makes no sense.
12) The local Redskins' fans will be disappointed. Survey Says: Right on! After starting 6-2 and yelling "hip hip hooray" in the locker room, the Skins fell apart and missed the playoffs. And I loved it.

13) Brett Favre will be overexposed. Survey Says: so will TO. Correct.

14 & 15) Carolina will be 10-6...or 6-10. Survey Says: Correct. The secondary was good enough to survive, the pass rush was better, Delhomme played fine, and the 2-RB system was outstanding.

16) AFC Playoff Teams - Survey Says: 2/3. I was correct on 4 out of 6, missing New England & Jacksonville. New England was clearly good enough to make it, but Jacksonville...wow.

17) NFC Playoff Teams - Survey Says: 1/3. I got the Panthers & Eagles. Missed the Cowboys, Packers, 49ers, and Saints. Yikes.

18) Carolina is 10-6 and Jon Beason is a Beast. Survey Says: Correct, except it was 12-4.

19) I will win at least one fantasy league this year. Survey Says: Correct. The Hokie Thugs put on a rally for the ages in the Phi Alpha League, sneaking into the playoffs and pulling off an upset in the finals. My MVP? Baltimore's Defense and...Tyler Thigpen. Anytime you win a championship behind a Coastal Carolina Chanticleer, it calls for a celebration.

20) Praying for Miss Angela. Survey Says: always, no matter what.

21) Tar Heels Football will be pretty good. Survey Says: Correct.

22) So will Virginia Tech football. Survey Says: the sky is blue.

23) Pittsburgh over Dallas in the Super Bowl. Survey Says:...


Four good NFL Playoff matchups this weekend. A quick breakdown of what is to come:

• San Diego at Pittsburgh: I still like the Steelers, mainly for being at home. The week off helped their health and I like Big Ben to bounce back with a good next three games or so. Plus, in my unpublished picks last week, San Diego was my only miss (I had Indy), so I'm still a little peeved with the Bolts. And oh, I did pick Pittsburgh to win the Super Bowl at the beginning of the season, as seen above, and I'm too stubborn to change my mind now. That O-line worries me, but that defense does not. Whoa.
• Baltimore at Tennessee: I'll take the home squad here. I really enjoyed watching this Baltimore team all season, especially Ed Reed & Co on the defensive side of the ball. However, I think Tennessee can force Joe Flacco to beat them and I'm not sure he's up to the challenge quite yet. Plus, the Ravens' corners can be beaten (Reed has covered this weakness for them all season). In a game that Baltimore will surely blitz often (both run and pass blitzes), that means a lot of man coverage for the DBs. I see Kerry Collins exploiting that matchup just enough to get a victory for the Titans.
• Philadelphia at New York Giants: The only upset I am picking - Eagles win. Philly is the worst possible matchup for the Giants. Without Plaxico Buress, the Giants have no wide receiver who requires a safety over the top, freeing up the Eagles to bring heat early and often. However, the Eagles' blitz will not be hunting after Eli Manning exclusively. In their upset of the G-Men earlier this season, the Eagles did a great job run blitzing and keeping the Earth, Wind & Fire combo from running the Giants down the field. A lack of success on first and second down left many third-and-long situations, allowing Philly to bring the heat on Manning and force him into bad throws under duress. As a result, I really think the Giants success in this game depends on their ability to stay out of third-and-long offensively. On the other side of the ball, the Eagles are not going to bother trying to run the ball down New York's throat. Instead, they will use screens, swings, reverses, etc to simulate a running game and force the Giants to respect a "run game" of sorts. Westbrook is just healthy enough to make this work and destroy New York again. Finally, I see DeSean Jackson continuing to have an impact, both on returns and as a deep threat offensively. (Ok, to be honest, New York probably wins this game because everyone is sniffing Philly's jock right now, but I just cannot find a scenario that makes sense matchup-wise. Plus, I want the Panthers playing at home next weekend).
• Arizona at Carolina: I'll take the Panthers. This really is not a great matchup for Carolina, as the secondary is the worst part of their defense (ahem, Ken Lucas). However, Anquan Boldin is less than 100% and I think having already seen Arizona's passing attack race up and down the field once this year will help motivate and teach the defense. As long as the Panthers take care of the ball and do not come out overhyped, I think they will come out on top.

In other news, there is a BCS Championship Game Thursday night that has drawn some coverage on ESPN this week. Do not confuse this with a National Championship Game, as that would only happen if everyone had a chance to play for the title. The blog entry related to fixing this system is coming very soon, I promise. For now, let's pick the game. I think Florida has had enough time to prepare for the OU offensive attack and can at least slow down Sam Bradford and the Sooners enough to pull this one out. A couple of untimely turnovers by the current Heisman winner will cost the Sooners. I like the Gators 34-24.

The first hater step, the first hater gettin' tossed out

Broken Bobcats Promises

Because of circumstances totally out of my control, I have already broken my promise on 1) giving up on the Bobcats; and 2) not attending a game over the holidays here in Charlotte. My mother received two free tickets to last night's Bobcats vs Warriors game and insisted that tarheelpwin and I attend. In effort to prevent two perfectly good tickets from going to waste, Dad and I obliged. Here's how it went down:

• DJ Augustin opens up the festivities by welcoming the fans in attendance - I'm estimating 8,000 or so.
• Early action includes good passing by Boris Diaw, as pointed out to me by my father. I'm not holding my breath on this working out throughout the rest of the game. Plus, I'm stubborn, as I yelled bad words at him upon being introduced. One thing that the trade with Phoenix did bring the Bobcats is an annoying player; Raja Bell can really irritate the opposition, as Kobe Bryant has found out numerous times. In other news, former Tar Heel Brandan Wright starts tonight for Golden State and has two early fouls. Maybe if he'd stayed more than one season he would know not to foul so much. If the Bobcats are really serious about trading Felton for Wright as featured in the Charlotte Observer on Friday, I might ask David Stern to give our team to Seattle.
• During the first timeout, fans appear on the Fan Cam videoboard feature. I think it is actually the Ugly Cam tonight, as some rough looking redhead chic appears...glad to see Mint Hill is representin' this evening.
• There is a sushi stand at Time Warner Cable Arena. I love sushi, but at a basketball game? Really?
• First quarter replays are shown during another early timeout with Amy Winehouse's "Rehab" playing in the background. The way things are going, all the fans of the Bobcats are going to have to check into rehab too.
• DJ Augustin is much taller in person than I thought. Originally pegging him for 5'-10", I have to admit to being wrong. He's at least 5'-10.5". Also, Adam Morrison has checked into the game. I am looking for something to throw at him - a razor, some fake tan stuff, or basketball skill (all are needed right now).
• After now watching Morrison for five minutes, I have decided he IS The Blue Team. As an NBA player, he is essentially a scrub on this team, channeling the legend of Carolina Blue Teamers like Dewey Burke, Surry Wood, Jack Wooten, and Travis Stephenson. Rob Kurz comes in for Golden State and makes Morrison look good though, picking up 3 fouls in seven minutes. Ryan Hollins is also in for the Bobcats and whining about everything. I just love that, especially from an anorexic center.
• A lot going on in this timeout. First, I noticed that there are no ushers upstairs anymore, directing you to your seats or making sure people do not stand in the aisles. Not only have the Cats cut corporate staff, but also gameday event staff. Surely they could have let the "cheerleaders" go too (not Lady Cats - the actual cheerleaders). Also, fans are going crazy during the t-shirt toss. For what? A Time Warner Cable t-shirt of course. They should call this the "Rag to wash your car with" toss or "emergency barf clean-up towel" toss.
• In effort to pump up the crowd, the house music clip is "Ev'ry bo-dy clap your hands...clap clap clap..." from the Cha-Cha Slide. After witnessing how much people at a sporting event behave like sheep, following whatever you tell them to do (make noise, clap, get up, etc), I wish someone would take the liberty of remixing this sound byte to "ev'ry bo-dy pick your nose" and see how many people oblige.
• Two embarrassing moments committed by white folks: a 15-year old or so kid dancing during every timeout, frequently on the bigscreen, definitely with no shot at a prom date. None. And, a bald guy around 30 or so, roughly 6'-2" and 255 lbs, comes and sits down with three buddies in front of us. The embarrassment? He has on a gray suit with black windowpane that is shiny like aluminum foil. It is discussed immediately by everyone in our section. I regret that I have no picture.
• I am not wearing underwear.
• Just making sure you're still with me.
• Diaw drops off a nice pass to Gerald Wallace for a big dunk. The PA guy, Big Pat yells "Wallace for two on a pass by Boris". I'm surprised he and Boris are already on a first-name basis. It should probably be more like "...pass from Boris Diaw, you know, the sorry, lazy french dude we just got to overpay from Phoenix for our best scorer".
• Halftime brings us a 56-56 score. Wallace leads the Cats with 14 points and Jamal Crawford has 20 already for the Warriors. It also brings us the Bouncing Bulldogs jump rope squad for halftime. I hoped they were related to the British Bulldogs, but no such luck. Oh boy.
• The jump ropers are actually pretty impressive. Athletic, focused, and having fun. However, the day Lil' Kyle comes to me and says, "Dad, I need money to go to the jump rope nationals in Kissimmee, Florida", I'm going to tell him to Kissimmee ass.
• Season-ticket holder Caroline Davis is tonight's featured fan, so they interview her on the big screen. She is a brunette, enjoys long walks on the beach, and bad basketball apparently. She mentions her favorite Bobcats' moment as the opening night of the new arena. Mine is when we trade Morrison and Diaw.
• The Roman family is upgraded to the lower level, about five rows from the court. I can't believe the team was able to find five seats together anywhere in this packed house, much less so close to the action.
• End of 3rd quarter: 87-79 Golden State, Crawford has 35 already.
• Another t-shirt toss brings me to ponder one of life's great mysteries: if a t-shirt lands in an empty seat, does anyone hear it?
• With 5:47 remaining in the fourth quarter, I pass gas.
• Late fourth quarter action is close, but Crawford lands the dagger, crossing up an exhausted Raymond Felton for a nine point lead with only two minutes left. Crawford has played the point most of the night and at 6-5, he has had open looks on jumpers over Felton and Augustin all night. Even Raja Bell tried to slow him down late and failed. Crawford eventually finishes with 50 points, bringing back memories of Reggie Miller, Karl Malone, and Michael Jordan torching the Hornets in front of me as a kid. Wallace's 26 points lead the Bobcats in a 110-103 defeat.
• Overall, the experience was about what you'd expect. $9.50 cents spent (jumbo hot dog and a Coke), some good laughs, and a halfway decent game. Crawford was just unstoppable and the Warriors were able to win despite missing Corey Maggette and Stephen Jackson. On the way out, a drumline was playing in the lobby of the arena, causing noise and congestion (no, we did not stop). Apparently they are the Rhythm Cats. Awesome. On the other hand, the Lady Cats are not that impressive. Sure, there are some pretty ones, as there are on most squads. However, there are a couple I worry about being near for fear of The Clap.
• My final note on the evening: I had to stop at KFC/Taco Smell because of my hunger that lingered after not spending my life savings on concessions at the game. With only two cars at the drive-thru and the restaurant already locked, I figured this would not be too long of a trip. Think again. I reckon everyone in front of me ordered chicken that had to be fried and cooked, so I sat impatiently for ten minutes. The lesson: when in need of a chalupa, don't stop at a place that also serves extra crispy.

Go Panthers tonight. "Stand and cheer for the Panthers, stand and cheer for the team..."

You're Dead to Me, Boy

Derek Zoolander's father spoke those oh-so-painful words to his son, male model extraordinaire, after Derek tried to prove to him that he could "fit in" with his brothers. "I just want to make you proud of me, Pa," he says. But alas, despite his best efforts, it is too late for Derek, as his Dad crushes his spirits with this quote.

Fast-forward to today. There are many entities in today's world of sports who are like Derek Zoolander, doing everything they can to gain acceptance. They want approval from fans and the media alike, as approval equals interest, which equals dollars spent, which equals cash money in the pockets of these entities. Unlike Zoolander, acceptance and love are not enough; they need money, money, yeah yeah.

So what are we to do? Personally, this fan is taking the same route as Derek's Father did. Call'em out, let'em know where they stand, and take a long-term stance. If they fix it, great. Accept them back and love them. "That's my son!!" yelled Mr. Zoolander after watching his son save the Prime Minister of Malaysia. But if not? Kick dirt on them and leave them where they lie, six feet deep. So here goes. The following sports entities, be on alert - you're dead to me.

1) Here Lies the National Hockey League and Commissioner Gary Bettman. I did not grow up skating on anything frozen. Anyone who has seen me ice skate is now laughing out loud at the mental image. But roller blading? Different story. However, I did not do much of the roller parks in middle school. Nope, I preferred street hockey, scoring goals against the trash cans in my driveway. I was Steve Yzerman, Brett Hull, Wayne Gretzsky...anyone but Mike Modano really. Playoff hockey is my favorite - late nights, three overtimes, the back-and-forth action. I was madder than hell when Brett Hull "scored" to win the Cup for Dallas, knocking out the beloved Sabres in six games. I'm not saying I'm the world's greatest hockey fan, but I really enjoy watching the sport and would argue the intensity of the playoffs against any sport.

But now, in the years following the NHL lockout, Commissioner Bettman has turned the game into a wuss-fest. His iron fist reign has been laughable for many reasons that we will not get into. But, just when I thought it could not get worse, his league suspended Sean Avery for making comments about another player, Dion Phaneuf of the Calgary Flames, and his girlfriend, Elisha Cuthbert (of "24" and "Old School" fame). "I just want to comment on how it's like become a common thing to fall in love with my sloppy seconds," Avery said. And he has been suspended for six games by the league and could be released by the Dallas Stars as a result. Now, let's set one thing straight: Avery is no angel. For those who do not follow hockey, he is a combination of TO, Ron Artest, and Manny Ramirez. He has been in trouble with the league for numerous incidents, both on and off the ice. Teammates and foes despise him. But suspending a guy for that comment? Come on. The NHL has no personality now. No more fighting, no more trash talking, no animosity allowed. Let's just all skate around for three periods, everyone's a winner, and when it's over, we'll all hold hands and sing "Kumbaya". Gary Bettman, until you learn how to market your league and emphasize what sets it apart from other sports entities (and thereby allow it to once again be interesting), I'm not watching. My planned trip to a Hurricanes' game is now canceled. So NHL - you're dead to me.

(A quick aside - in my quest to find a picture of the aforementioned sloppy seconds known as Elisha Cuthbert, I did a google image search. I chose the least-risque picture I could find and ended up with her sitting in a see-through dress with a slit up to her mid-thigh. Elisha - you're an attractive girl. But really, you might want to look into cleaning up your image a little bit, or at least taking some pictures that involve more clothes than a push-up bra and undies).

2) Here Lies the Charlotte Bobcats. I have tried to have faith that this organization has a plan. I was completely against the selection of Adam Morrison over Brandon Roy; same for DJ Augustin this past year over Brock Lopez or Jerryd Bayless, but otherwise, I've tried to remain supportive. But now? Done. Jason Richardson, Jared Dudley, and a 2nd rounder for Boris Diaw, Raja Bell, and Sean Singletary???? What????

I understand that the Bobcats were willing to move Richardson or Gerald Wallace. Fine. Need more of a low-post presence, hopefully with some versatility. But Boris-freakin-Diaw? He of the "I don't date American girls, I have them" quote a few years back (click those links - unreal)? He of the no motivation, in poor physical condition, I-don't-even-know-what-defense-is history? Look, the Bobcats desparately needed a big guy to play power forward with shooting range and the ability to guard similar types of 4-men. Bosh, Dirk, Jamison, David West, and all other power forwards who are able to stretch a defense and drive always kill this team (go look at Bosh's boxscores against Charlotte, it's ridiculous). But Boris Diaw does not help on the defensive end whatsoever and can most positively be described as "inconsistent" (read: unmotivated) on the offensive end. As for Raja Bell, I think his skill-set lends itself to this team and Coach Larry Brown's system or guarding the basketball. However, he is 32 and expensive for what he brings to the table in my opinion. Furthermore, Charles Barkley tried to point out that by moving Richardson, more minutes would be available for Felton at the shooting guard spot. Two problems with that point: 1. Bell is also a shooting guard and therefore should take a lot of Richardson's minutes; and 2. Felton is not a freakin' 2-guard. But the worst part of this deal? Trading Dudley. As has been pointed out by multiple people, he did not have to be included to make the deal work. He is promising as a role player, has a high basketball IQ, and is cheap for the next three seasons. So what was he included for?

The most predictable reaction was that of the Charlotte Observer sports writers. Sorenson, Fowler, and Bonnell all like the trade. It's almost like they've been told to spin this as positively as they can to help generate interest in this team. Well, how can anyone be interested in a 28-win team? Because that's what we're heading towards. So, barring another trade (or five) that helps makeover this team (and get Diaw out of Charlotte), cancel my annual Christmas Break expedition to see the 'Cats play, because Charlotte Bobcats - you're dead to me.

3. Here Lies College Football under the BCS System. I am done with college football. Until there is a playoff system that we can all live with, I will watch the Tar Heels, I will watch Virginia Tech (or wherever I happen to be working), and I will keep an eye on Notre Dame. But as for rushing home to see "the big game" or any huge bowl game? Forget it. I'm not saying I'm not going to watch at all, but I am done caring. It is completely ridiculous that the sport with the potential to be far and away the most popular cannot figure out how to crown a champion fairly. No argument you can present me for the BCS makes any sense. The point of playing college football, like all other sports is as follows: YOU PLAY TO WIN THE GAME (c/o Herm Edwards, 2002). Bowl games are glorified exhibition games, all of them, except for the "BCS Championship Game". Yet, that game is put together based on computers and voting, not anything that happens on the field. You cannot possibly look me in the eye and say that the regular season is a year-long playoff and be serious. You cannot say that there are too many games if we move to a playoff. Heck, I'm fine with bowl games. Let them stay around. I have developed and revised my NCAA Football Playoff Plan numerous times and will be posting it soon on this blog, and it includes bowl games. There's nowhere I'd rather be this December 27th than sitting in Charlotte at the Tire Bowl (also known as the Meineke Car Care Bowl), watching the Tar Heels play a meaningless game against West Virginia. But it is absolutely STUPID to claim a "national champion" out of Florida vs Oklahoma.

A playoff is the only way to decide a champion, NCAA folks, Bowl folks, ESPN, and student-athletes. And until you make an effort to create one, you are leaving money, credibility, and history on the table. So college football, BCS - you're dead to me.

To wrap this up, a few other things are dead to me that do not warrant a paragraph. They are as follows:

4) Big Balla - you and your boat shoes. Just like I said on the phone the other night.
5) Conventional weight-lifting. Who needs a 315 lb squat or 265 lb bench press when you can do this?
6) Anyone who hates on Stephen Curry. I've seen the kid in person and do not understand how anyone can knock the guy. I think that's what we call "playa hatin".
7) MLB teams who think AJ Burnett is worth $75 million over five years to be your #1 starter. You know what that equation equals? 77 wins a season. Thankfully, it did not work out for the Braves. Now, we can move on to plan B - Randy Wolf. Unfortunately, Randy Wolf equals 70 wins a season.
8) T-Pain, Akon, and DJ Khaled. Don't get me wrong, I'm not putting a hit out on you guys, just saying that you're dead to me. But really, can't you guys just sit out a few songs for a while?
9) XM 65 The Rhyme. Unfortunately, it's really dead. A casualty of the Sirius-XM merger, my go-to station is no more. One email and one letter later, it has not come back. Furious.
10) Salt-water cleanses. I spent the better part of a recent Saturday trying not to be dead to myself as a result of the cleanse. Luckily the television in my bedroom easily reaches nearby rooms with showers, toilets, and sinks, so I did not miss any of the Hokies' second straight ACC Championship victory.

Alright, let's wrap this rant up. To be serious for a minute, I really just think Sean Avery's suspension is over-stepping the governance of the commissioner and the league. Freedom of Speech here people. The Bobcats are still my team and I hope they improve themselves - I just don't like this trade in the least. I will acknowledge though, that sometimes you have to take a step back to take a few forward. I hope this is the case. And finally, the BCS is just a total joke. Those in charge of the bowls and the conferences are the main problems, but no one (fans, TV networks, the media, no one) has taken a stand and said "no, I'm not watching this until you fix things and give us a legit champion".

I will be back with my NCAA Football Playoff Plan soon, along with an early-season report on the Tar Heels' basketball status. Until then, good luck to everyone in exams right now or just pushing through until some much-needed time off from the j-o-b.

Shush girl, shut your lips; do the Helen Keller and talk with your hips...